Faith.
Faith: noun. a belief and trust in and loyalty to God. Firm belief in something that there is no proof.
from the definition above, it’s no wonder a lot of people struggle with this. How do you believe in something that has no evidence? That you can’t see literally but you have a sense of knowing that it exists and it is possible. What makes you trust so much in it when you know that feelings are not facts but it defies every ounce of logic you can possibly think of. More times than i can count, i have struggled with my faith. I still do, on some days because a lot of things don’t make sense. There is a sense of existential dread and the world falling apart right now that no one wants to think deeply about it because once you do, you start to question how God exist and why He let things get so bad. I believe that life is made up of the good and bad, darkness and light. How do you trust God on the darkest days when you can’t see Him physically? I think atheists have it much easier. It’s easier not to believe in anything than struggle with your faith in both good and bad times.
Love; noun
An unselfish, loyal and benevolent concern or care for another.
I started reading All about Love by Bell Hooks a while ago and it has healed me in more ways than i can explain but I would try to. It made me understand that at the core of every human interaction, love should be present. There is a reason why it is the highest vibration because heartbreak, pain, grief are all love that has nowhere to go anymore. respect, compassion, care, knowledge and understanding are all facets of love but that doesn’t make them love itself. I look in the mirror sometimes and i don’t love myself. I recently told my friend that i had discovered that self love is the love for the self, not just the physical body in the mirror. The way you walk, how your eyes light up when you walk in the room down to the way you make your meals. That doesn’t sound easy because you know yourself better than anyone so how can you love the darkest parts of yourself? By forgiving yourself. Compassion. You are human, and weak which is why you should not try to do this on your own.
Spiritual love is the love for God and everything He has created. How i know He exists is not because He is in everything i do. There are some things that are absolutely out of my control even by luck or chance and i know this. A sense of control is what we all want at the end of the day. It’s hard to realize but freeing to know that you were never in control anyways. So many things happen that you never know when or how and building a spiritual practice by either by prayer, yoga, organized religion, meditation, gratitude practice or anything that helps you get closer to your spirit is essential. I personally believe that life is more spiritual than it is physical and knowing that the highest vibration is love, which means that God loves me and there is absolutely nothing i can do to change that helps me keep going. I know there is always more to me than yesterday and i can be confident in the plans I have for myself because He would take care of me. The precision with which everything is made is why i know that just like a potter never takes his hand off the clay till it is finished, He would never take His hands off me.
To anyone struggling with their faith right now because of how the world seems, i can’t say it would get better because i don’t know if it will. That’s the thing about hope. It hurts. But I hope it does. Until then, keep believing and having faith. Trust that you’re not in control and let go of the idea that you have to be. Let God carry you.
